It’s that time of year when everyone makes the ubiquitous resolutions. To me what most people make is not a resolution. If your resolution is to lose weight or quit smoking, I don’t see it as a resolution. Those things are goals and should have specifics attached to them. To me a resolution is more about a way of being or a behavior. For the past few years I have made one resolution and set a list of goals for myself for the year. The last two years my resolution has been the same, as it’s not really a concrete thing and it should be something I continue to strive for – or strive to be. The past two years my resolution has been to be less judgmental of others. This means not judging how other people parent their children, not making judgments about choices others make in their lives and even not making fun of what someone else chooses to ware. This is all on the way to being a more understanding person and realizing that I have no idea what causes other people to make the choices they do, and just because they are not the choices I would make, does not mean they are wrong. This resolution of mine to be less judgmental is an ongoing thing and doesn’t really stop.
In addition to my one resolution I always set goals for the coming year. Before I set the new year’s goals I like to take stock of the ending year’s goals to see how I did. Goals are more proactive and easier to accomplish than resolutions. For example, if I make a resolution to get in shape or exercise more, it’s doomed to failure because what does that even mean? If I set a goal to run a 5K on a certain date, I obligate myself to get in the required shape necessary to run the 5K.
So here we go: (from Facebook notes, January 5th 2011)
“I don't make resolutions, I set goals. Posting them on Facebook puts them out there so that I can be held accountable. Last year I was pretty successful with the goals I set. SO here I go again...
1. Actually run in the CIBC run for the Cure, instead of walking.
2. Have my finished manuscript in the hands of a publisher by the end of the year.
3. Finish a first draft of the new book.
4. Begin writing Asylum part 2 (the working title of which is Empire because in it, things are going to go from bad to worse and we will meet James' roguish black friend. And there will be a cliffhanger.)
5. End the year living someplace that I want to live.
6. Get out from behind the chair in the salon. I can't physically do it anymore. Or at least cut back to only doing hair part time.
7. Learn to manage my stress. Probably seek out some sort of external avenue for this.
8. Get back to learning to play the guitar.
9. Continue working on being less judgmental of others. This one is really hard and I failed at it last year.
10. See my friends more.”
So How'd I do?
- I did actually run in the CIBC Run for the Cure. I was 4 months pregnant and I ran it in 40 minutes. Next year I hope to run it in less time and do it while pushing a 5-month-old baby in front of me.
- Ha ha. This was a pretty lofty goal. I was a bit naïve about what it actually takes to accomplish this one. Manuscript number 1 is still in the final editing stages but one of my goals for 2012 is to focus on this and make it happen.
- As with goal number 2 I expected a lot out of myself. I also didn’t expect to move to a new town and get pregnant. Two things that prevented me from spending as much time writing as I wanted. Also book number two grew a lot in 2011 and is a much bigger story than I originally planned. It has a title though and I am probably about half way through writing it. I think it’s going to be a many years writing project with other things being written and finished while I toil away. It’s only been ten years since I started this one so what’s a couple more?
- Part two of Asylum has pages and pages of notes, but I really need to finish something before I start something new so for now it’s at the back of my head begging to be written. When I eventually do get around to it, it will probably go even faster than part 1 did.
- I’m certainly happier living where I am now than I was in Burnaby. More about this in number 7.
- Well, I almost accomplished this. I started out working just 2 days a week when I moved to Port Hardy but bumped it up to 4 leading up to Christmas and so that I could get enough hours to qualify for Maternity leave. In March I go on maternity leave so, I’m almost there.
- I don’t know if I’ve learned to manage my stress, but being out of the city and living here in this small northern town has dramatically reduced my stress levels. And putting real effort into running and working out has given me a physical outlet for my stress.
- Other than moving it from one house to another I have not even picked up my guitar. Writing has dominated pretty much all of my “spare” time.
- I think I am getting better at this, and as I have said, it’s an ongoing thing.
- I spent a couple of extended weeks in Victoria last summer so I probably saw my friends more than the year before but still not enough.
- Run in the CIBC Run for the Cure, again.
- Start a Stroller fit group in Port Hardy – as much for my own physical fitness as anything.
- Start a breast-feeding group – again as much for my own selfish needs as for others.
- Enter in at least three categories of the TriPort Fall Fair (pickles, Crocheting … something else)
- Complete the three crochet projects I have in mind for the baby.
- Do some extra curricular crochet projects to try to sell next Christmas.
- For writing goals: Focus on getting Asylum published by the end of the year.
- Seek out venues to publish short stories so I can have something out there.
- Set aside at least 1 day a week to devote to my blog.
- Find a crit. partner.
- Continue working on being less judgmental of others.
- Make an effort to phone or Skype with friends and family instead of just using Facebook to communicate with them.